Check out Personality Boot Camp. Brand, boost and build your business with personality.

Don’t forget People in Connection, keeping business people connected through networking meetings and on-line.

There nothing like having an expert on your side for publishing.

 http://www.prepaidlegal.com/biz/jwiebe

The person you would  want to go to for expert advice is http://theyppublishing.com for Author Assistant, Marketing and Administrative Services: info@theyppublishing.com. Brilliant  in social networking, podcasting, e-books, internet research, manuscript preparation, book proposals, to assist with the publishing process and coordinating self-publishing, writing services, media kit, virtual book tour and much, much more YP Publishing is where you want to go.

You may want to sharpen your writer's pen with http://www.longridgewritersgroup.com/.

To be on top of the process a bit, acquaint yourself with these resources:

National Library of Canada, Acquisitions and Bibliographic Services, Legal Deposit Office, 395 Wellington Street, Ottawa, Canada, K1A 0N4. 613-335-9481; 819-997-9565. Cataloguing in Publication (CIP) Information Kit; ISBN #s; "The Publisher's Path"; www.nic-bnc.ca/6/11/s11-202-e.html; www.nic-bnc.ca/6/11/s11-202-f.html (submit 2 copies of your manuscript).

Public Lending Rights Commission: The Canada Council; Robert Richard PhD Awards Officer 1-800-263-5588, ext. 4079, 350 Albert street, P.O. Box 1047, Ottawa, On, K1P 5V8, 613-566-4378. plr@canadacouncil.ca. Registration deadline May 1st. Register with the programme once your book is published.

Canadian Copyright Licensing Agency, 1 Yonge Street, Suite 1900 or Suite 800, Toronto, ON, M5E 1E5, 1-800-893-5777. http://www.cancopy.com/; http://www.accesscopyright.ca/

Canadian Books in Print, University of Toronto Press, 10 St. Mary Street, Ste. 700, Toronto, M4Y 2W8, 416-265-1631.

Copyright and Industrial Design Office at Department of Consumer and Corporate Affairs

Canadian Scholars' Press Inc., 180 Bloor Street W., Suite 402, Toronto, ON, M5S 2V6. 1-800-463-1996, custom publishing.

The Writer's Union of Canada, 24 Ryerson Avenue, Toronto, ON, M5T 2P3, 416-703-8982; 416-868-6914. http://www.writersunion.ca/ (Information on how to get published).

Canadian Authors Association, 27 Doxsee Avenue N., Campbellford, ON K0L 1L0.705-653-0323.

Inscribe Christian Writer's Fellowship, 2547 Forest Drive, Blind Bay, BC, V0E 1H1.http://www.inscribe.org/

For extra inspiration try: http://freedomlineenterprises.com

The three E’s effectiveness, efficiency, economy in provision of services, facilities and programs are crucial to a viable community.
Equity – fairness in the distribution of revenue resources. Disentanglement of intergovernmental responsibilities. Dual accountability to provincial municiple affairs departments and to the electorate. Sustain the diversity of the community. Municipalities are a matter of provincial statute, subject quite unilaterally to change by the legislature. Provincial wide standards – public services – economy, environment and justice in application of law. Weak constitutional position of munincipalities.
Housing, environment social welfare and policing with a joint three-level responsibilities

The allocation of government resources and the balancing of priorities should be done by elected local bodies . Existing government structures should be explored to the fullest before resorting to special purpose bodies.

Tax credits – poor entitlement on income tax return, to establish property tax as a proportional tax

Characteristics of a good tax, evenly distributed for fairness, easy method of collection, visible for acountability and you know how much you pay every year. Speak in camara to prevent fear of libel.
Conflict of interest- when employer has pecuniary interest, so does employee. Declare conflict of interest at beginning of agenda. We must look toward a new regime which empowers citizens and local governments. We must maintain and enhance our sophistication and innovation as judgements rest on ourselves rather than big brother at the provincial government level effective, cost-efficient, directly accountable, representative and responsible, in such a permissive, rather than prescriptive environment. We need responsible leadership more now than ever.

Special purpose bodies

Municipal governments deal with agencies, boards, commissions, and voluntary associations which have a degree of autonomy from local government. Agencies, boards and commissions have no authority to tax. Most funds are from local government.

Police, public health and children’s aid have been our inheritance since before local government. At the turn of the century planning, hydro, water and sewers were the main issues. We need to ask ourselves whether we need a separate hydro commission when the city engineer can we have our own engineers on tap. Economical efficiency and effectiveness can only be achieved by innovative thinking, leadership and cooperation among people and groupings of all kinds. We need at the municipal level a more entrepreneurial philosophy which embraces total quality management which requires absolute accountability within the city council and within the special purpose bodies. We have gone too far in separating special purpose bodies from policy decisions by the municipality which is providing funding.

Sustainable rapid growth is as fragile as a flower. Best business practices of the past are not the best practices of the future, hence dynamic management strategy is central to keeping up with, and to anticipate, the evolving market trends. Entrepreneur professor Simon Parker at the Richard Ivey School of Business and researcher in this phenomenon urges flexibility, adaptability and leeway to make the “changes to their strategies so they fit the changes in the external environment.”
Parker’s study of 100 mid-sized rapidly growing businesses in the 1990s revealed that: 

• rapid growth strategies failed to diversify from the core product or service,
•  were limited to a specialized marketing department,
• myopically do quality control via customer surveys rather than with customer complaints,
• fail to imbed growth infrastructure in the organization to stay organized, effective, and keep a high level of public perception.  

Growth is not dependent on the entrepreneurial’s character, personality or on the product. The ideas have been around for a while now, but with so little room for error in the current business world, the strategies to maintain growth are still worth revisiting and working towards using:

• new products, new or extended markets, change in delivery methods, updated productions systems,
• stay close to customer and market, learning for constant improvement,
• team playing includes knowing your role and plying it well for the benefit of everyone, and linking compensation to quality performance,
• constantly run reinvention experiments,
• always develop your leaders and their people.

Adapted from Mary Teresa Bitti, Staying Agile Keeps Company on Toes, Financial Post, Times Colonist, Tuesday, April 6, 2010, B4.
smallbusiness@nationalpost.com

Thinking comes as naturally as breathing. However, just as we have polluted air, so too we can have polluted thinking. We need to deliberately choose not to have polluted thinking. Negative thinking derails our living a full and joyful life and is slightly different from defence mechanisms that are useful when not used in excess.

It Isn’t Always About You

It is a measure of maturity to stop thinking that everything that goes on in your life revolves around you. When you see yourself as the cause of some negative external event for which you were not primarily responsible you are personalizing your environment, putting undue stress and responibility onto yourself. A close cousin, either-or all-or-nothing thinking demonstrates a narrow outlook on life. Having comparmentalized perceptions and experiences into narrow categories, if your performance falls short of perfect, you see yourself as a total failure thereby heaping.

The Vulnerability Snowball

When a habit of negative thoughts takes hold it creates a vulnerability which draws (at best like gravity or a magnet, and at the worst like a black hole) other types of negative thinking. All-or-nothing thinking makes it easier to overgeneralize with seeing a single negative event as a never-ending pattern of defeat. Rigid categorization makes thinking vulnerable to picking a single negative detail and dwell on it, a type of mental filter so that you do not factor aspects of reality for a clearer perspective.

What is in a Label?

An extreme form of overgeneralization involves labeling or mislabeling: Instead of describing an error, the logic function is derailed with attaching a negative label to yourself, “I’m a loser.” When someone irritates you, “He’s a jerk.”Emotionally loaded labelling deflects from objective reasoned reflection.

Positive experiences are rejected out of habit as inferior aspects of reality, that they “don’t count.” Disqualifying the positive protects negative thinking against everyday positive experiences that might contradict or minimize the negative. Emotional reasoning reinforces negative thinking drawing the person to the sloppy conclusion of “I feel it, therefore it must be true.”

Binocular Vision

Inappropriating minimizing, a form of denial, shrinks things until they appear tiny, whether it is your own desireable qualities or the other person’s imperfections like looking through a binocular the wrong way. Catastrophizing exaggerates the importance of an occurance – a personal goof-up or someone else’s achievement – magnifying a situation all out of proportion, looking through the binoculars of perception the other way.

In despiration for a solution to the path of life we are to take, we turn to the mindless absolutes of “shoulds,” “oughts,” “musts,” often inherited from family, clan, society to motivate us. We submerge our authentic desires, hopes and dreams. Guilt becomes our companion when we cannot attain what we need not to be grasping at.
Jumping to conclusions land us into hot water more times than not. Negative interpretations derived from no definite facts to support the suppositions are a recipe for misunderstandings, poor decisions and bad judgements. Not checking with others (mind reading) about your perception of their negative reaction to you inhibits a healthy growing friendship. Strong anticipation that things are going to go badly puts us in danger of being convinced our predictions are an already established fact assuming the role of fortune telling. This is the most dangerous faux pas of all since it sabotages free will with a spirit of fatality.

Definitions adapted from Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy by David D. Burns, William Morrow Publishing company.

James 1: 2,3 “Count it all joy, my brethren, when you meet various trials, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.” RSV
1 Peter 1:6,7 “In this you rejoice, though now for a little while you may have to suffer various trials, so that the genuineness of your faith, more precious than gold which though perishable is tested by fire, may redound to praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.” RSV [Redound: have an effect, consequence, return, recoil.]
John 17:15 Jesus prayed that God keep his followers who are in the world but not spiritually of this world from the evil one. He deliberately did not ask for us to leave this world. Our refinement was not completed.
Ex 32: 34 God sends angels to go ahead of us when we are following God’s lead.
Num 22:22 God stands in our way as an adversary when we start going the wrong way. We need to be sensitive to the leading and guiding of God’s presence. In adversity look to the valuable lessons you may learn from the experience.
Ps 108:6 “Be exalted, O God, above the heavens, and let your glory be over all the earth. Give victory with your right hand, and answer me, so that those whom you love may be rescued.” NRSV

Psalm 91 has been used for centuries during Sunday office of Compline and daily in the monastic office. It is a strength and comfort in good times and in the bad.

I John 5:19 “We know that we are God’s children, and that the whole world lies under the power of the evil one.” NRSV
Eph 6:12 “For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.” KJV
Gal 4:3 “…while we were minors, we were enslaved to the elemental spirits of the world.”
Col 2:8 “See to it that no one takes you captive through philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of the universe, and not according to Christ…”

Prayer and intercession works at the deepest level of reality and is the most effective form of Christian action:
1. Pray for repentance for spiritual and physical health. Matthew 11:25
2. Pray for healing of memories.
3. Pray for physical healing to God’s glory.
4. Pray for deliverance of individuals, communities and places from the oppression of evil forces. Death is destroyed by death on the cross (the ancient form of capital punishment- crucifixion).

Laying on of hands Num 8:10; 27:18-20; Gen 48:14-20; Mark 10:13-16; Mark 5:23 to convey the Holy Spirit (the soothing healing and wisdom power of God come to us demarked as the Holy Spirit).
Live a life of self-abandonment. Don’t let your heart be troubled or afraid.

Does society have any rights in terms of deciding whether someone else should die? What is your take on capital punishment? How do we value life, and human life in particular? Where stands the validity and integrity of our justice system?

 What do we do with offenders? Did society make them that way? Is being poor and without a job an “offence?” Does that make us responsible to compound our sins to let the negative elements feed off one another in prison, only to worsen their own conditions while we pat ourselves on the back over their incarceration?

 It is like the plague of ferel rabbits on the University of Victoria campus: there are so many rabbits – 2,000 or so in an Alice-in-Wonderland-rabbit-nightmare – that these breathing little warts on campus greens were sterilized at great cost and then let loose into the same campus environment to continue to destroy the historical trees and gardens that only Victoria, with its coastal location and modulated weather, can provide Canada. It is like setting burglars loose in a museum with hatchets to do what comes “naturally.”

 Students over the years have been dumping onto the campus lawns these hungry fur balls after these young women and men’s tour of duty in these Ivory Halls of Knowledge are completed, creating a massively intriguing collection of varieties of colour, tails, fur and ears, to suffer living off the land like the growing volume of homeless humans that greet the housing strapped province of British Columbia. Instead of dealing with more serious matters, like learning to run this country and to promote housing for the poor [please correct me if I am in error], students have obsessed with the idea that the university might secretly be “culling the herd” of these bundles of cuteness at night.

 Sentimentality, private and public, can really mess with righteousness, justice and mercy. Self congratulatory humans have stepped in, not to provide the creatures with new homes, but to feel a misplaced self-righteousness that only urbanites can feel in their serious disconnect to the land. Now the plan is to legislate sterilization of rabbits before pet stores can sell the creatures.

 Can sterilizing the poor be far behind with such a botch job on dealing with these little creatures? The welfare system with its defacto below-most-housing-costs policy is set up to keep people out of housing considering housing shortages and high costs due to high demand. They are vulnerable to the harsh realities that these ferel creatures suffer and worse – humans on the street have less protection from other humans than these Victoria-style tribbles have. At best, the haves are in serious disconnect with the have-nots in society. At worst, those who have all the sustenance they need simply do not care as long as impoverishment doesn’t happen to them.

Would capital punishment in the form of culling the rabbits be a deterrent to future rabbit owners from letting their cherished pets loose, pets that helped them cope with term papers and exams? You bet it would be. A return policy from the pet stores would help along with a rabbit adoption centre on campus, run like a lending library. Any takers?

Clearly these issues cannot be fully explored in this blog. It would take a few series of books to do so. But I hope I have given you cause to pause.

Agendas 

The Agenda, that list of topics which will be discussed put in the proper order the meeting is to go, helps to direct the activity, to distribute information.  Agendas need to be given out at least two days before the meeting to give people time to bone up on the background.

Ask yourself what goal you want accomplished at the meeting. Ask the other participants what their stand is on the various points that are going to come up. Who is the most powerful? What other positions are there? Have a pre-meeting with the boss. Once you have evaluated the agenda, you may find the meeting is one to be avoided. Let us assume you have decided to go to the meeting. Ideally the meeting is scheduled when everyone has time to be listened to and feels heard so each one relaxes enough to hear what others are saying. Sit across from your superiors so you can better take cues from them rather appearing presumptuous by either taking their seats or sitting between your superior and your boss. That would be a different sort of invading a person’s personal space.

Do not become impatient. If you are irritated do not show it. You need less stamina and courage than proper planning. Use strategies to stay calm and effective to help the meeting move smoothly. It takes time for someone to listen to another point of view because he or she is also keen on getting a point of view across as well. This is why the pre-emptive strike of consulting with members and their ideas before the meeting is so valuable.

You can frame your approach out of consideration of people’s way of thinking about various topics in the agenda. Patience is enhanced when we are humble enough to admit that we may not be 100 percent correct. Our impressions are incomplete revealing our need for one another’s input into the meeting. Ideally your idea will need only be given in three parts before it is understood and received for discussion: give a statement, proof, and a restatement. Ideas listened to, understood and remembered are more likely to be used or adapted for use or alternatives may be given which will address the essence of your point.

Use analogies and quotes. Be a model of listening. It is easy to get sidetracked, particularly if you are bored or impatient. Do not clown around or be overly social but be business friendly creating an environment where it is a pleasure to work with you. Have a positive attitude while being on guard. Do not rush in approving suggestions but attentively take notes. This approach is respectful of the process of collaboration.

Use effective body language – do not slouch, fiddle with your hands, hair, cross your arms. If you get cold easily, try to have a sweater handy to avoid looking adversarial when all you are is cold.

Keep your train of thought. Do not get backed into a corner by saying something you do not mean. Stick to facts, not rumours. If attacks on your character occur, do not let it bother you.

Give others in the meeting the chance to have the wit to be offended for you. That is more fun than allowing yourself to be emotionally derailed mid-presentation. Handling such petty stresses help you to thrive in adversity and give you the stature of one who has dignity under fire.

Commit to making an agreement if at all possible, including compromise. This can only come about when conflict arises. Welcome new ideas to get the best possible outcome from a brainstorming session. Take care to let everyone have their say at least once. Give up your need to have your own way. Once all options are reviewed, then confidently make your move at the decision making table, respecting the efforts of the group. You will have a better chance of unifying the group to a consensus and to make a positive lasting impression, whatever the outcome.

– not something we usually want to wake up to, but it is the stuff of exercising our adaptive capabilities. Through conflict we make choices that forge who we are at that moment in time, guiding us towards who we are to become. Criticism can appear like conflict and as such is stressful in which we are succeptable to interpret by overgeneralization (personal invalidation) and as an intolerable event (awfulization).

At its best, criticism enables us to see where we need to change and grow, a very helpful tool! Appropriate response goes a long way in saving face and seeing the opportunity instead of seeing shame; “You could be right,” “I’ll have to think about that,” “I appreciate your concern” diffuses the adversarial mode. Both the sender and receiver of the message can use this approach in the conversation,  “You appear very upset about this,” or mirror (without judgement) your critic’s emotional level.

 If you can hold a polite enquiring tone this response may be effective to move the conversation along: “Is there anything else about our relationship (my performance) that bothers you?”

Fallible? Not Me! 

Accept that we are all fallible so take criticism in stride. Failure is a result – not a state of being – nor a prediction of the future. Do not let it affect your feelings abut yourself. Everyone experiences criticism, rejection and failure. Avoid self-defeating thoughts. Redirect frustration energy with exercise.

Take time to analyze and challenge the validity of your own perspective in a healthy outdoor environment.

Social Assault

Change your perspective on social assault. Commit to change rather than anger. Let go of the self-punishment of guilt and commit to change. Avoid blaming. Avoid seeing all decisions as black and white. Do you see yourself as the cause of many negative events? Do you assume others are thinking negatively about you? Do you concentrate on a single negative detail and lose sight of all reality?

“If only” is our anger turned inward on ourselves. It is an uncreative focus of our anxieties, a self-destructive channel for fear, anger and guilt. We hurt ourselves before others do it for us. Short-circuit the self-accusing voice by proclaiming who you are, declaring a body of evidence that supports your best interests. The manipulative accuser’s power to punish makes the target depressed, anxious, often pushed to drink alcohol or do drugs, unproductively worry and ultimately give up what they really want for safety and security. A dream is dashed before it is fully formed.

Choose acts, such as prayer and reading scripture which affirm who you can become and which affirm you right now, to sabotage unhealthy responses to guilt and from punishing yourself by skipping a relaxing entertainment. 

Reward ritual:

Do not overlook the good things you do or your positive attributes. Imprint pleasant memories. Make a list. Call upon your “joy triggers” – a memory, family gathering, receive good news, winning a prize, a smell, music, a view, a gift…. Incorporate the most meaningful into your life.

Paradox – an Alternate Way of Being

Thoughts, ideas, concerns, feelings come together in a healthy way when we are at ease with ourselves. Complexities, contradictions and paradoxes cease to drain us of our inner resources. You cannot love others if you cannot love yourself. The tool of judgement you use on yourself will be the tool you use on others. Cultivate a benign, more friendly and more tolerent self interest. Paradoxically you will become more available to others.

Observe yourself. Discover who you are to sort out image and expectation from reality and desire. Learn to distinguish the truth about ourselves and not the distortions about reality. Look at your anger to understand its source, instead of wasting time feeling guilty about this powerful emotion.

Self-examination helps us to abandon other people’s goals and dreams as our own which keep us from our authentic selves. Other people’s expectations distract us from exercising our gifts. We cope with inner resources better when we are not factoring other people’s lives and expectations. Use your intelligence, skills, and assertiveness to work for you. Become the person you truly dream of being.

What do you want changed in your life? What gives your life meaning? What do you want to be? To do? Write for yourself a personal mission statement as a road map to help guide you to your lifelong goals.

(Adapted from an old hand-out – source unknown)

Right from the sand-box we begin to trust and share. As adults we understand these are the building blocks to self-disclosure, self-awareness and non-possessive caring. Friendships are important to a happy healthy life. It requires risk-taking, trust, acceptance and feedback.

The atmosphere between you both needs to be understanding and non-evaluative before taking that great leap of trust and faith to confide in more than superficial information. Take care that the other person properly discloses about him or herself to you. You may feel that the other person’s silence is both attentiveness and agreement. Silence may prematurely prod you to continue to expose your hopes, dreams, weaknesses and abilities. Getting to know and trust each other is a two-way street filled with potential for the friendship to be highly resourceful to each other. Weigh the risks and benefits as you grow into the relationship. It is worth while.

We all have a need to feel that we have been listened to and understood. One of the most important skills in getting to know another person is listening. Share hopes, dreams, fears in two or three sentences. Wait for a response and go from there. Allow for sharing.

A guided approach:

Agree to a topic and have one person start first discussing it in a couple of sentences. The second speaker gives feedback, repeating in his or her own words what the first person has said. The first speaker must be satisfied that he has been heard accurately. This helps the speaker learn to speak in a clear concise manner. It also helps the person to clarify for themselves what they think and feel. The second person can, in turn, ask clarifying questions such as “What does that phrase or word mean to you?” After clarification, summarize. Reverse the roles.

Examine your reactions. What did you learn about yourself as a listener with your partner? The two of you may find yourseslves later saying to each other “What I hear you saying is….” to keep a check on the accuracy of your listening and understanding.

How do you feel about such personal discourses? You may need some time alone with your own thoughts probing these open ended statements to become more comfortable before attempting to share with another. You need to know yourself before others can get to know you.

When doing this exercise, periodically have a two or three minute discussion about this experience up to that point. Keep eye contact and try to cover: how well you are listening, how open and honest you have been, how eager you are to continue this interchange, and if you feel you are getting to know each other.

Here are several topics that can be used to open up communication:

My name is…
My titles are…
My marital status is…
My home town is…
The reason I’m here is…
Right now I’m feeling…
When I think about the future, I see myself…
When I am in a new group, I …
When I enter a room full of people I usually feel…
When I am feeling anxious in a new situation I usually…
In groups I feel most comfortable when the leader…
Social norms make me feel…
In ambiguous, unstructured situations, I…
I am happiest when …
The thing that turns me on the most is …
Right now I’m feeling … [Look your partner in the eyes while you respond to this item.]
The thing that concerns me the most about joining groups is …
When I am rejected I usually …
To me, belonging is …
A forceful leader makes me feel …
Breaking rules that seem arbitrary makes me feel …
I like to be just a follower when …
the thing that turns me off the most is …
I feel most affectionate when …
Establish eye contact and hold your partner’s hand while completing this item: Toward you, right now, I feel…
When I am alone I usually …
In crowds I …
In a group I usually get most involved when …
To me, taking orders from another person …
I am rebellious when …
In a working meeting, having an agenda ….
the emotion I find most difficult to control is …
My most frequent daydreams are about …
My weakest point is …
I love …
The thing I like best about you is …
You are …
What I think you need to know is …

Trusting relationships are opportunities for good non-defensive listening. Listen to feelings behind the words. Use loving concern. Accept them as they are. Respect one another’s values so you can aid them into respecting your values. When trying to make a joint decision, a compromise may be in order. Your lives will be richer for it.